Fun stuff from a medical perspective

2007/10/25

@ 04:37 AM (10 months, 18 days ago)

Things heard and read in the patients charts over the last 15 years....enjoy!!

Some funny dr. diagnosisis unofficialy used, usually starts with "patient is suffering from"

F.O.S. full of sh$#

P.P.P. piss poor protoplasm

S.G.P. shallow genetic pool

cranio-rectosis...head up ass syndrome

cerebro-fecal impaction...shit for brains

pan-rectosis...all over asshole

recto-megaly...big asshole

rectitis...irritated asshole

ethyl lobotomy.....drunk idiot

ethyl induced rectitis...drunk asshole

cerebro-fecal transposition...(repeat) shit for brains

rhino-misplace-ia.... patient sticking nose where it don't belong

TMB...too many birthdays

HHP...hysterical hispanic patient

read from history and physicals, "Patient physically unremarkable, but mentaly a good canidate for euthanasia"

"Primary diagnosis, patient older than the mud on the bed of the river brazos"

"Patients main problem, undiagnosed end product of inbreeding"

"Patients appearence, essentialy negative, but otherwise normal"

"Patient is obviously suffering from poor attempt of parents at birth control"

and the list goes on, and on and on......riff

I remember "FTT." Failure to Thrive. Sometimes followed by a "FTT due to PWTs." Failure to thrive due to Poor White Trash parents.

Gomer's been around a long time: Get Out of My Emergency Room. Then there was GORK. Somebody still breathing and nobody knows why, they're a GORK. God Only Really Knows.

I miss hospitals. It's not the standard stuff that keeps them interesting. Codes and all that are the norm. It's the nurse seen slipping out of a doctor's call room. It's the female doc caught felating a male doc in a kitchenette following a conference. It's one of the top MDs coming into an ER late at night to see a patient and the guy's drunk on his ass. It's the young RN nervously cathing an aged butterfly chaser and the old woman jumps up and says, "Harold, not so rough." It's the hospital's new knife going in for a spleen and coming out with a kidney. Oops. It's the gallows humor. It's keeping life in perspective that matters. Geez, what a zoo.

Comment by Burns— 2007/10/25 @ 08:20 PM — (Reply)
I forgot PTTQ pillow therapy till quiet...lol.....damn burns I must work at the wrong hospital...there are too many sticks in the mudd here, either that or they don't include me cuz im a married old fart...lol...lol...riff

Comment by riffran— 2007/10/25 @ 08:56 PM — (Reply)
Eww, PTTQ. Not nice.

Comment by Burns— 2007/10/25 @ 10:15 PM — (Reply)

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