The world according to Riff.

A freind told me about this wasteoid, and I had to just look it up....I laughed about 10 minutes with this one,

"LOOK MA NO BRAINS!...see Ma I told you sniffing that gas aint hurt nutin, I feel just fine.........

Robbery is a serious problem for retail stores across our region. But the employees of Shamrock Liquors in Ashland, Kentucky, can't stop laughing about what happened last Friday at the store along 13th street.

Police say Kasey Kazee walked in to the store with duct tape wrapped around his head to conceal his face.(Thats right folks....the new multi-purpose ....*wait for it*........CONVICT CAMMMO TAPE.... by RONCO....now you can hide your face and get rid of unsightly moles and facial hair..)

Fortunately, store manager Bill Steele had some duct tape of his own. Steel had a wooden club wrapped with duct tape that eventually sent the suspect fleeing the store.(Oh my.....that explains the bloody face on the moron) 

Store employee Craig Miller says he chased Kazee to the parking lot, tackled him and held him in a choke positiion until police arrived. An unidentified customer also helped.(Thats right....who's yo daddy bitch.....lol....rofl) 

Kazee said in a jailhouse interview today police got the wrong man and Kazee says he has no memory of going in to the liquor store. He also says he has no memory of police removing the duct tape.(Hey dumbass that line don't work on COPS it won't work here.....he is worse than  Bill Clinton....I did not have sex in the way that I beleive  sex to be defined)

We asked Kazee how he could deny being the duct tape bandit even though police have photos showing Kazee with the duct tape on and then a photo where Kazee's face is revealed.

Kazee looked straight at the camera and said, "Do I look like the duct tape bandit to you?" (Uh..... well now that you ask dipshit.....YES)

Miller says Kazee also had a t-shirt pulled up around his head during the robbery attempt. Miller says it reminded him of the "Cornholio" character from the "Beavis and Butthead" cartoon

."I am Kacey Kazee.....are you threating me? Give me cuervo for my ....bungggggg...........hole"

Steele says Kazee did get away with two rolls of change before Steele could grab his club. Police found much of that change in the parking lot.

Pray to god this nitwit doesn't get the chance to reproduce.....I can see it now....Honey let them kids lone....that lead paint aint hert nobuddy...see im nermal".....lol.....later "yall" riff