The world according to Riff.

Enjoy..Got these in an e-mail......lol...riff

Things I learned living in Texas 

 

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

 

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas .

 

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders.  All 10,000 of them live in Texas .

 

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya.  If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

 

5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

 

6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

 

7. "Jaw-P?" means, "Did y'all go to the bathroom?

 

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

 

9. "Fixinto" is one word.

 

10. There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then there is supper.

 

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

 

12. Backwards and forwards means, "I know everything about you."

 

13. The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

 

14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is.  You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

 

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.

 

16. "No. Jew?" is a common response to the question, "Did you bring any beer?"

 

17. You measure distance in minutes.

 

18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

 

19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

 

20. You know what a "DAWG" is.

 

21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.

 

22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

 

23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football..

 

24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

 

25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm."

 

26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

 

27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally World."

 

28.. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew weather.

 

29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

 

30. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.

 

31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Texas friends and those who just wish they were from Texas .

One of my pastimes when I get bored is going to Newser and pissing off the Left wingers.....They are very predictable to say the least..if it has anything to do with politics, the anti-right   rhetoric flies thick and fast....so just to have a little fun I get in there and kick the hornets nest a bit...it's fun to watch them gang up on any "intrusions" to their little realm......I really zinged one in particular tonight..this loser decided a while back to get personal, and I have now concentrated on egging him on...here is an little sample..a story with the comments attached.......

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According to the news this am. If you oppose abortion or illegal immigration or voice disagreement. With YOUR government currently in charge. You. According to the justice department. Should placed on watch for being a *gasp*RIGHT WING EXTREMIST*and should be watched by your local authorities as a possible domestic terrorist. So look out you 80 year old devout Christians and traditional families. You are now the enemy. LOL. Be afraid be very afraid. WHO SAID THAT???? More to follow when I get back I the comp. And not on the I Phone. Riff

I guess capping three of those knappy headed *ahoy s* didn't send too great a message...Three more ships taken, by these people..I foresee some of these private companies going vigilante.Current international maritime law states you have to boeard them and then decide they are pirates, before taking action, or some similar bullshit....This is going to get bloody before it is finished. But at least the Lefties haven't started blaming the U.S. like they do for everything else...Well we will see...riff
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Damn you sooner B skank!...Even banned as spam, you still reign in the top 10 on the leader board...How dare you!...You would think that being reported a record 248  times by a dedicated 8 watchdogs of spam making for a 31 to 1 ratio you would just go.  But no, your taint still will not leave.............."DAMN YOU DAMN YOU TO HELLLLLLLL"........*disclaimer*..This has been a production of riff sarcastic productions, and does not reflect the opinion of any associated people real or imagined or under the influence of strong homemade wine , and tequilla, not effective in all states, void where prohibited, say no to crack, may cause cancer in labratory rats if consumed in large amounts, no Madagascar Lemurs or penguins were harmed in the production of this satire, help population control, shoot Somali pirates, report to crimestoppers, dont fart in bed then fluff the sheets, for any complaints see the copmplaint department ran by Mr.s Helen Waite....so if you have a complaint dont come here got to Helen Waite.........lol.....have a nice day "yall"....riff

A hunting buddy of mine told me about this little gem....Patented by somebody described as "Uncle Boogers Bumper Dumper"....What can ya say?????ROFL...when ya gotta go you gotta go......It is actually prettty big with some of the off road hunting types...so I have heard...."Hey Bubbah......crank the Bronco up my feet are catching a chill"....ha ha ha ha....riff
 

And ad that was e-mailed to me that I just HAD to share....makes you wonder, just how many functioning neurons are left in some of these people....enjoy....riff

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What's to say..... Seals got the go.......BLAM BLAM BLAM. Three dead pieces of shit. One rescued hostage. Yeah buddy. That's what you do with trash. Take it out. Just wait, I bet pelosi or some other ass like murtha. Will call the seals. Murderers. I calls them good shots.....rofl Riff

I was a bit curious and tried out blogger....Bulky, can't find shit, and all around unimpressed....Unless im wrong there is no "Home" page like you have here. You have to know the blog you are looking for, and there is no list to see who is posting or the comments on it......I was fricken lost. Maybe I just didn't see a "home" page like they have here......I some of "yall" decide to bail, I will miss you....because I sure as hell won't be able to find you.  If anybody knows something please elaborate...because that site sucks so far...riff

Take one or two Rabbits.(cleaned of course)

potatoes

onion

bell pepper

carrots

cauliflower (optional)

salt

pepper

itialian seasoning (or basil and oregano)

 

in a large cookie sheet, place potatoes cut about an inch thick, along the bottom, lightly salt. Cut rabbit up into sections, lightly salt and pepper and add italian seasoning, then place on top of potatoes.  Cut remaining vegatables into thin stips and place on top of rabbit. Add a small amount of water or chicken broth (don't use too much the veggies and rabbit make their own juices). Cover with tin foil, and bake at 350 for approx 45 minuters to an hour...when potatoes are done so is the rest. Reserve broth for use on the table or as stock for gravy making .......HAPPY EASTER....lol....riff

One of my hobbies, is Ham radio. One thing that is funny about my bunch, is that we are always tinkering with one thing or another. In my case it's antennas.  In my latest waste of stimulus money(lol) I built an antenna for emergency portable operations..Just to let yall know, some antennas can be as long as 300 ft or more depending on the frequency used.....The ones I built were for 40 meters, and 80 meters..(near the shortwave bands).33 and 67 feet..They are called NVIS antennas....Near Vertical Incidence Skywave.....I English, *lol* it means that instead of trying to get my signal way out there past the horizon, and talk to the whole planet....I am going for local communication, roughly about two to three hundred miles on a regular basis....Enter the NEVIS. The signal goes straight up and hits the ionosphere then comes down in a "splattered" pattern.. So depending on the hight of the ionosphere, and the frequency involved I get real good local coverage....only.  The reason I am doing this is because of the MS150 bicycle ride coming up in a few weeks..."we" are going to be manning a first aid station as a Field training exercise for the Texas Medical Rangers. There will be hams operating all up and down the route, and my company will be able to keep in touch with them and relay info as needed. There will also be 2meter FM and 440 FM in use also...(really just an excuse for me to buy more radio crap....lol)......anyhow, the antenna is simplicity at it's best....bolt a coax mount to your vehicle, make sure the ground goes to the frame. Hook up your radio to one end (with a antenna analyzer first) and the wire antenna to the other. String the wire out away from the vehicle, and keep it about three feet off the ground with whatever non conductive supports you need. I am using fiberglass electric fence post for mine.  Trim your wire carefully to tune the antenna, and start talking....It's that easy. I may post some pictures of the MS150 later if any look really  cool...Or if some of the bicyclers are "hot"..lol...next project...a multi band verticle for the car, that will tune 6, 10 , 12 , 15 , 17, and 20 meters, Ill be sure to tell ya how bad that one will turn out...lol.....later riff

In Memoriam.....Soonerb-blue-not...this is BS

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sorry about the re-post, but whomever made a comment, (through no fault of their own I assume), caused the post to fail..."Warning Bloghi could not retreive comments"...or something like that....so I am re-posting ...please excuse the mess...lol...and be aware that the entire post was deleted...not just the comment...please feel free to try it again...thanks......*the management*....lol....riff

 

I got really bored today, and while drinking a little homemade wild plum wine, I watched the last 10 minutes of " brave new voices". On hbo. A russel simmons. Price of crap! It is supposed to be about teenagers expressing themselves. Wow.....what a price of total stupidity! My already remedial IQ dropped down at least 40 points. I almost started to think I was a liberal. AHHHHHHHHHH! Let's just say that was 10 minutes I will never get back! And let me tell ya, the wine quickly turned to shots of Jose Quervo with salt and lime, and I had to make an emergency showing of Outlaw jose wales, from the DVD collection, and 30 minutes of rush. In order to get the pathetic verbal toilet flushes out of my head. Don't get me wrong folks. I am all for the youth of America becoming active members of society and giving voice to what they beleive, but this was crap. A bunch of inner city kids dressed like hood rats. Thugging out and calling it poetry. And I thought gangsta rap was bad. Yikes. So if ya want to see a bunch of angry teenagers whining about how bad life is or how mad they are or how bad they are treated because they live in a bad "hood", sure go watch it. But you cant say I didn't warn ya........LOL.... Riff

Honk If I'm paying for your morgage
Welcome to America....Now speak english
So, Hows that hope and change coming?
Because every one deserves some of what you've worked hard for
Don't spread the wealth...spread my work ethic
I will give your president the same respect you gave mine
"There was 1.5 million people at the inauguration...and only 14 missed work
Why should I pay for YOUR healthcare?
If you agree with Al Gore should you be driving right now?
CHANGE...whats left after taxes
Somewhere in Kenya or indonesia...a villiage is missing it's idiot
Silly Liberal....checks are for workers
My son is in Iraq....enjoy your freedom
Starve perfectly healthy liberals...hide their welfare checks and food stamps ..under their work boots
Work hard....millions on welfare are depending on you
Gun control is hitting what you aim at
I'm willing to die protecting my 2nd Amendment rights...are you willing to die trying to take them?
The more I know Pelosi...the better I like hemorrhoids
Hey Liberal...pull up your pants your rhetoric is showing
Liberals need two diapers because....they talk out their ass, and nothing but diarrhea comes out their mouth.
Speak up Liberals...your pants are muffling your voice

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This should tick off a few people...The other day there was a horrible tragedy up north..Cops were shot and killed by a man claiming "He was afraid Obama was coming to get his guns"...The redical Left wing pansies wasted no time in blaming the NRA, Glenn Beck, Rush , Hannity, and Republicans in general.....and of course Bush, and Cheney.......I enjoy pissing off the louder liberal voices that dominate on the web site "Newser"..or one of "yall" put it "Loser"..(that was funny and it fits)....so I posted a few real stastistics with a little obvious extrapolation, and shut them up....Hell I even gave them the ammo to refute it in the post and they were too dumb to get it except for one that kinda rides the fence of the left right thing...the others ....*cue the crickets please*........?.........So here is a good slam at the lefty loo loo's courtesy of your bitter angry rascist bible thumping, baby starving war mongering republican ...clinging in desperation to guns and god.....me...riff

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Hold onto your hat folks. A new law being proposed in Texas want's to re-define what a gym or daycare is and cause a whole lot of folks to potentially close their business doors.  The bullshit is described in this cut and paste from Plano Texas news....

PLANO — Some of the best Olympic gymnasts in the world train in North Texas, including gold medalist Nastia Liukin.

Families from around the country even move here to give their children a shot at greatness.

But a bill now being considered at the State Capitol threatens to change the way things are done. It would force elite gyms — where kids train up to 30 hours a week — to be subject to the same licensing regulations as day care centers.(WTF!..what does this dude have a beef about?)

The Texas attorney general ruled that starting last year, any group working with youngsters must be regulated like a child care center.

Lawmakers in Austin are trying to clarify the wording, but so far, elite gyms like the World Olympic Gymnastics Academy in Plano are not exempt.

"I'm very worried about this," said WOGA co-founder Yevgeny Marchenko, adding that the facility will be forced to leave the state if it is forced to operate like a child care center.(Great just great...the country is in financial spasms, with the bail out bullshit ...now this)

"We just want to come here and train," said 2008 Olympic alternate Ivana Hong. "This is nothing like a day care at all."

The state legislation is sponsored by Sen. Jane Nelson (R-Flower Mound). As it's written, it would subject elite gyms and other skill-based programs to the strict standards that day care centers must currently follow.

In fact, WOGA — home to Olympic champions Nastia Liuken and Carly Patterson — wouldn't even be permitted to have uneven bars.

"We don't want to be a child care," Marchenko said. "We want to teach gymnastics."

In a statement, Sen. Nelson explained: "My goal with this legislation is to protect our children from abuse, neglect and sexual predators." But she also says she is seeking an exemption for gymnastics.(Well maybe just maybe Senator Nelson....you should think through the consequences of the very people you are supposedly trying to protect....putz)

There is a lot at stake; North Texas is one of the best Olympic training grounds in the world.

"This is a place where the kids are achieving their dreams to become an Olympian," Marchenko said. "Under the rules and regluations of child care, that's not going to be possible."

While Sen. Nelson says she does plan to iron out this wrinkle in the proposed law, it could be tricky to make a legal distinction between a training center and a child care facility that emphasizes gymnastic activities.(Ill bet she fricken will....a lot of voters have kids that go to the many gyms in Texas, and love it and make it a important part of their life and overall health centered activities, and we are pissed, and you bet she is going to hear from us *ahem* assholes about it....including this one...ME!......riff)

Damn Damn Damn....I had to fix my shunt feed on the tower for the umpteenth time over the last two weeks. For such a good antenna, I sure seem to have issues with it. First the ground plane was bad , then it was water in the matching section housing, then it was Rf back in the shack, now its all been fixed, and I still got RF back in the shack, even with an "ugly" balun (coaxial cable wound up to make a choke)....I am going to try a few more radials on the ground plane, and if that don't fix it, scrap the damn thing. Right now i'm working on a double bazooka antenna for 40 meters, and we will see how that goes.....riff

This bit of ficticious sarcasm inspired by a discussion I overheard from some katrina refugees. Still unemployed and living off of charity. Pathetic ain't it?......riff

In response to the impending disaster in Fargo North Dakota, A massive effort to build emergency levees out of sand bags was initiated. The response was met by all the members of the local community, and with help from outside sources such as the National Guard, and droves of volunteers. In response to the lack of explosive devices being set into the levees, Louis Farrakhan has filed a suit against the State Of North Dakota, and the United States and FEMA. He was quoted as saying "The resultant lack of equal and devastating damage to the primarily white community of Fargo, is proof positive that the grievous disaster in New Orleans was the fault of the imperialist white racist regime of George W. Bush, and proof of a concerted effort in collusion with FEMA to kill poor people of color, I demand that the levees be blown up immediately, as soon as the people move back into their homes, and feel what it  is like to be flooded"....A inebriated homeless man reeking of urine was observed talking to his stuffed teddy bear quoting "That dude is Fu***** nuts".....Unfortunately we have not been able to produce the transcript in its entirety and the alleged transcript cannot be substantiated ......disclaimer...no school busses were drowned in the production of this article.......