The world according to Riff.

random blog, little politics, little humor...lotta bull****

2009/7/12

Who says the Military doesn't have a sense of humor

@ 06:58 PM (4 months, 14 days ago)

Three New Navy Ships
USS RONALD REAGAN
Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective. ENORMOUS!

 

USS Ronald Reagan

 


When the Bridge pipes "Man the Rail," there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, surrounding 4..5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement. 
Capability
Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two
nuclear reactors
that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling
1.. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2... Carries over 80
combat aircraft 
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going
150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet
Size
1.. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2.. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3..
Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
4.. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5.. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
6.. 4
high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet 
Capacity
1.. Home to about 6000 Navy personnel
 
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily;
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of
fresh water
from sea water daily, enough for 2000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1325 miles of cable and wiring 1400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets
7. Costs the Navy approximately $250,000 per day for pier-side operation
 
8. Costs the Navy approximately $25 million per day for underway operations, crew salaries included.

 

USS WILLIAM CLINTON

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail

today from its home port of Vancouver , BC . 

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.


The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum beer cans and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots, except that the sailors don't know how to tie a knot.


It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed)
F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.


As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board.


This crew, like the crew aboard the
USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.


An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.


In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .

 

 


USS BARACK OBAMA

 


Don't ask.

 

 

Comment(s) »

  1. Sorry I'll have to repost that las pict

    Comment by riffran— 2009/07/14 @ 07:37 AM — (Reply)

  2. the sailors don't know how to tie a knot ? its part of that new grading system , pass or fail but nobody is better than any of the others in class and hell no there are no valivictorians or most likely to succeed awards for the graduating class ! that would be cruel and ruin thier little pshycie's hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    Comment by jim— 2009/07/14 @ 03:07 PM — (Reply)

  3. I reposted the picture again....enjoy...riff:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:

    Comment by riffran— 2009/07/14 @ 05:32 PM — (Reply)

  4. Those taxes I don't mind so much. What a ship.

    Comment by Burns— 2009/07/16 @ 08:00 PM — (Reply)

  5. I AGREEZZZ WIT "BURNS" !!!!!!!!

    Comment by aza spade— 2009/07/16 @ 08:06 PM — (Reply)

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