"A treatment featuring horse placenta is becoming all the rage for injured European soccer stars, with two Liverpool players just the latest to seek treatment. The procedure, performed by a Serbian woman, sees the placenta—a leftover of the breeding process—injected into the hurt area, then massaged further into the tissue. Marijana Kovacevic emphasized the “alternative” aspects of the procedure, the Independent notes, using candles and darkened rooms"

Wait folks it gets worse....eeeeeeyikes.

"Some people even eat horse sushi (sliced pieces of raw horse meat).

But DID YOU KNOW that some couples also like to gorge on placenta sushi (sliced up placenta)
not from some poor unsuspecting mammal but their own child's placenta as a small celebration
after the birth of a child.

get the fricken bucket.     "Can you hear the placenta screaming .............Clarisse........it is full of estrogen and good for the complexion you know, but does not go well with fava beans..I prefer the Anasazi pinto beans marinated in Chatteau Lafitte 56, and slow cooked with a fresh tobasco pepper .....bwoooohahahaha......riff

What a sick fricken creep...I am sure that the unborn child that died at the hands of that cowardly bastard at Fort Hood deserved it JUST for being the unborn of an infedel...right?  To that nasty bastard in Yemen....Yeah come on down here and tell me that to MY face, sumbitch...I would love to shave his sorry ass bald, slather bacon drippings in the hair and force feed it to his sorry ass....Muslim peice of crap....(To be fair...there are good muslims out there, I know that..but this sure makes it difficult to think of them)...riff

"When they were wearing their red shirts—how appropriate—and with cops around, everything was cool." When the rally broke up and "the shirts came off, I could see them for what they really were: common street thugs." He says he has one woman on tape "proudly confessing" to illegal or at least unethical activities. "The ACORN story is far from over. There are more videos to come next week. You’ve seen the Baltimore story, the Philadelphia story, the New York story. Now you will know about the LA story."

The comments that were posted were typical loser libbylu dominated...but I posed a single question and THEY couldn't answer it...one dipshit stated that by exposing acorn, republicans were trying to disenfranchise "poor" people....so I asked him...exactly how?....in typical liberal hate style, he made every sarcastic comment and pointed blame everywhere...but gee...would not answer that simple question, hmmmm I wonder why that was?......riff

ScienceDaily (Nov. 11, 2009) — New data show that the balance between the airborne and the absorbed fraction of carbon dioxide has stayed approximately constant since 1850, despite emissions of carbon dioxide having risen from about 2 billion tons a year in 1850 to 35 billion tons a year now. (OH my god the seas are rising we are all doooooooooomed)

This suggests that terrestrial ecosystems and the oceans have a much greater capacity to absorb CO₂ than had been previously expected. (No NO NO dammit, it's global warming from evil man killing the planet because of george bush...oh the humanity!!!)

The results run contrary to a significant body of recent research which expects that the capacity of terrestrial ecosystems and the oceans to absorb CO₂ should start to diminish as CO₂ emissions increase, letting greenhouse gas levels skyrocket. Dr Wolfgang Knorr at the University of Bristol found that in fact the trend in the airborne fraction since 1850 has only been 0.7 ± 1.4% per decade, which is essentially zero.(HMMMM   ...zero)

The strength of the new study, published online in Geophysical Research Letters, is that it rests solely on measurements and statistical data, including historical records extracted from Antarctic ice, and does not rely on computations with complex climate models.(In otherwords no tweaking and peaking the data to match the political landscape...shame shame..)

This work is extremely important for climate change policy, because emission targets to be negotiated at the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen early in December have been based on projections that have a carbon free sink of already factored in. Some researchers have cautioned against this approach, pointing at evidence that suggests the sink has already started to decrease. (Welll is it or is it not???)

So is this good news for climate negotiations in Copenhagen? "Not necessarily," says Knorr. "Like all studies of this kind, there are uncertainties in the data, so rather than relying on Nature to provide a free service, soaking up our waste carbon, we need to ascertain why the proportion being absorbed has not changed." (Now THAT I can say is a very good question...)

Another result of the study is that emissions from deforestation might have been overestimated by between 18 and 75 per cent. This would agree with results published in early November in Nature Geoscience by a team led by Guido van der Werf from VU University Amsterdam. They re-visited deforestation data and concluded that emissions have been overestimated by at least a factor of two.

So in conclusion...Al Gore is still so full of "carbon sink".....that he could fertilize the Sinai if he ate a few prunes ...There is no consensus, the data is skewed AND he is still cashing in by profiteering on the mass delusion "chicken little" scam he helped bring into fruition......Don't get me wrong folks, I am not "anti-green"..I am anti-Gore and his and his ilks making a political issue out of the climate, for their own gain...If we could get rid of big oil, and coal, and go straight solar and wind and nuclear in addition to hydroelectric, and still live like we do now...hell yeah. If we could stop the rainforest from being mowed down, and stop all of man's nature encroachments, I would be fricken ecstatic...But until we can....drill baby drill, and tell Saudi, and the entire Mid east to go fu** a goat....lol...riff

John Allen Muhammad (December 31, 1960 – November 10, 2009) was a spree killer from the United States. With his younger partner, Lee Boyd Malvo, he carried out the 2002 Beltway sniper attacks, killing at least 10 people. Muhammad and Malvo were arrested in connection with the attacks on October 24, 2002, following tips from alert citizens. Born John Allen Williams, Muhammad joined the Nation of Islam in 1987 and later changed his surname to Muhammad.^[1] Drawings by Malvo describe the murders as part of a "jihad" (Arabic for "struggle in the way of God").

Well johnnie boy those 72 fat crack ho's  promised you in the after life got the syph....... enjoy....riff

   Interesting  Statistic:   
  Professor Joseph Olson of Hemline University School of  Law, St. Paul , Minnesota , points out facts of 2008  Presidential election:
   
 Number  of States won by:
 Democrats:  19
 Republicans:   29
   
 Square  miles of land won by:
 Democrats:  580,000
 Republicans:   2,427,000
   
 Population of counties  won by:
 Democrats:  127 million
 Republicans:  143 million
   
 Murder rate  per 100,000 residents in counties won  by:
 Democrats:  13.2
 Republicans:   2.1
    
 Professor Olson  adds:
 "In aggregate, the map of the territory Republican won by Republicans was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of the country.
 
 Democrat territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare.
  
 Professor Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the "complacency and apathy" phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the "governmental dependency" phase.
    
 If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegals and they vote, then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years.
   
  Pass this along to help everyone realize just how much is at  stake, knowing that apathy is the greatest danger to our freedom

I know everyone is sick of all the political emails, but this on asks some good questions.  The Left always sneered at Bush, and often called him an idiot, and worse.  Who’s REALLY the idiot, Bush or Obama? 

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? 
 
If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved? 
 
If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? 
  
If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? 
  
If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? 
 

If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky? 
  
If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have approved? 
  
If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? 
  
If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? 
  
If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment? 
  
If George W. Bush had misspelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is? 
  
If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite? 
 
If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? 
  
If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans, would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? 
  
If George W. Bush had created the position 32 or more Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America, would you have approved? 
  
If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? 
  
If George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved? 
  
If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? 

If George W. Bush had spent more than all the Presidents combined since George Washington, would you have approved?   

So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive?

Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 10 months -- so you'll have 3 years and 2 months to come up with an answer.

TRUE STORY FROM "THE HOUSTON
HERALD" NEWSPAPER IN HOUSTON , TEXAS

MARCH 5th, 2009

Last Thursday night around midnight, a woman from Houston , Texas , was
arrested, jailed, and charged with manslaughter for shooting a man 6
times in the back as he was running away with her purse.

The following Monday morning, the woman was called in front of the arraignment judge, sworn in, and asked to explain her actions.

The woman replied, "I was standing at the corner
bus stop for about 15 minutes, waiting for the

bus to take me home after work.  I am a waitress at a local café, I was there alone, so I had my right hand on my pistol, it was in my purse, that was hung over my left shoulder.

All of a sudden I was being spun around hard to my left.  As I caught my balance, I saw a man

running away from me with my purse.  I looked down at my right hand and I saw  that my fingers were wrapped tightly around my pistol.

The next thing I remember is saying out loud, No way punk!  Your not stealing my pay check and tips!

I raised my right hand, pointed my pistol at the man running away from me with my purse, and squeezed the trigger of my pistol 6 times!

When asked by the arraignment judge, "Why did you shoot the man 6 times?

The woman replied under oath, "Because, when I
pulled the trigger the 7th time, it only went click."

The woman was acquitted of all charges.  And she was back at work at the café, the next day!

 Now THAT'S  Gun Control !!

A British citizen and self-professed follower of Osama bin Laden, Reid allegedly hid explosives inside his shoes aboard a flight from Paris to Miami and attempted to use a match to light the fuse in his shoe. Reid was found guilty of charges of terrorism in 2003, and a U.S. federal court sentenced him to life imprisonment.[3]

Jose Padilla, May 2002

U.S. officials arrested Padilla in May 2002 at O'Hare Airport in Chicago as he returned to the United States from Pakistan, initially charging him with being an enemy combatant and planning to use a "dirty bomb" (an explosive laced with radioac­tive material) in an attack against America. In 2005, the government officially indicted Padilla for conspiring with Islamic terrorist groups

Lackawanna Six, September 2002

When the FBI arrested Sahim Alwan, Yahya Goba, Yasein Taher, Faysal Galab, Shafal Mosed, and Mukhtar al-Bakri, the press dubbed them the "Lackawanna Six" (also the "Buffalo Six" or "Buf­falo Cell"). Five of the six had been born and raised in Lackawanna, New York.[7] The six Amer­ican citizens of Yemeni descent were arrested for conspiring with terrorist groups. They had stated that they were going to Pakistan to attend a reli­gious training camp but instead attended an al-Qaeda "jihadist" camp.

Iyman Faris, May 2003

A naturalized U.S. citizen originally from Kash­mir and living in Columbus, Ohio, Iyman Faris was arrested for conspiring to commit a terrorist act. He was suspected of planning to use blowtorches to collapse the Brooklyn Bridge.[9] Faris pled guilty to conspiracy and providing material support to al-Qaeda. Virginia "Jihad" Network, June 2003

In Alexandria, Virginia, 11 men were arrested for weapons counts and for violating the Neutrality Act, which prohibits U.S. citizens and residents from attacking countries with which the United States is at peace. Of these 11 men, four pled guilty. Upon further investigation, the other seven members of the group were indicted on additional charges of conspiring to support terrorist organizations. They were found to have connections with al-Qaeda, the Taliban, and Lashkar-i-Taiba, a terrorist organization that targets the Indian government.

Dhiren Barot, August 2004

A terrorist cell under the leadership of Dhiren Barot was arrested for plotting to attack the New York Stock Exchange and other financial institu­tions in New York, Washington, and Newark, New Jersey, and later accused of planning attacks in England.

James Elshafay and Shahawar Matin Siraj, August 2004

James Elshafay and Shahawar Matin Siraj were arrested for plotting to bomb a subway station near Madison Square Garden in New York City before the Republican National Convention.Yassin Aref and Mohammed Hossain, August 2004

Two leaders of an Albany, New York, mosque were charged with plotting to purchase a shoulder-fired grenade launcher to assassinate a Pakistani diplomat.[24] An investigation by the FBI, the Trea­sury Department's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, and the local police contributed to the arrest. With the help of an informant, the FBI was able to set up a sting that lured Mohammed Hos­sain into a fake terrorist conspiracy.[25] Hossain brought Yassin Araf, a Kurdish refugee, as a wit­ness. The informant offered details of a fake terror­ist plot, claiming that he needed the missiles to murder a Pakistani diplomat in New York City. Both agreed to help.[26]

Umer Hayat and Hamid Hayat, June 2005

In Lodi, California, Umer Hayat and Hamid Hayat, a Pakistani immigrant and his American son, were arrested after allegedly lying to the FBI about the son's attendance at an Islamic terrorist training camp in Pakistan.

The son, Hamid Hayat, was found guilty of sup­porting terrorism and was sentenced to 24 years.

Levar Haley Washington, Gregory Vernon Patterson, Hammad Riaz Samana, and Kevin James, August 2005

Arrested in Los Angeles, California, the mem­bers of the group were charged with conspiring to attack Los Angeles National Guard facilities, syna­gogues, and other targets in the Orange County area.[28] Kevin James allegedly founded a radical Islamic prison group and converted Levar Wash­ington and others to the group, which was known as JIS, short for Jamiyyat Ul-Islam Is-SaheehAll of the defendants pled not guilty and cur­rently await trial.

Michael C. Reynolds, December 5, 2005

Michael C. Reynolds was arrested  by the FBI and charged with being involved in a plot to blow up a Wyoming natural gas refinery; the Transcontinental Pipeline, a natural-gas pipeline stretching from the Gulf Coast to New York and New Jersey; and a New Jersey Standard Oil refinery.

Mohammad Zaki Amawi, Marwan Othman El-Hindi, Zand Wassim Mazloum, February 2006

In Toledo, Ohio, Mohammad Zaki Amawi, Mar­wan Othman El-Hindi, and Wassim Mazloum were arrested for "conspiring to kill or injure people in the Middle East" and providing material support to terrorist organizations.

Syed Haris Ahmed and Ehsanul Islam Sadequee, April 2006

Syed Haris Ahmed and Ehsanul Islam Sadequee from Atlanta, Georgia, were accused of conspiracy, having discussed terrorist targets with alleged ter­rorist organizations.[39] They allegedly met with Islamic extremists and received training and in­struction in how to gather videotape surveillance of potential targets in the Washington area.

Narseal Batiste, Patrick Abraham, Stanley Grant Phanor, Naudimar Herrera, Burson Augustin, Lyglenson Lemorin, and Rotschild Augstine, June 2006

Seven men were arrested in Miami and Atlanta for allegedly being in the early stages of a plot to blow up the Sears Tower in Chicago, as well as the FBI offices and other buildings. The arrests resulted from an investigation involving an FBI informant. It is alleged that Narsearl Batiste was the leader of the group and first suggested attacking the Sears Tower in December 2005.[41]

All individuals have pled not guilty and are awaiting trial.

Assem Hammoud, July 2006

Conducting on-line surveillance of chat rooms, the FBI discovered a plot to attack underground transit links with New Jersey.[42] Eight suspects, including Assem Hammoud, an al-Qaeda loyalist living in Lebanon, were arrested for plotting to bomb the New York City train tunnels.[43] Ham­moud was a self-proclaimed operative for al-Qaeda and admitted to the plot.[44] He is currently in cus­tody in Lebanon, and his case is pending. Two other suspects are in custody in other locations, and investigators continue to hunt down the other five suspects.

Liquid Explosives Plot, August 2006

British law enforcement was able to stop a terror­ist plot to load 10 commercial airliners headed to the United States with liquid explosives.[45] The areas said to be targeted were New York, Washington, D.C., and California.[46] Approximately 24 British persons were arrested in the London area. The style of the plot has raised speculation that al-Qaeda was behind it, but no concrete evidence has proven this.

Fort Dix Plot, May 2007

Six men were arrested in a plot against Fort Dix, a U.S. Army base in New Jersey. The plan included attacking and killing soldiers using assault rifles and grenades.[49] Five of the alleged conspirators had conducted training missions in the nearby Pocono Mountains. The sixth helped to obtain weapons. The arrests were made after a 16-month FBI opera­tion that included infiltrating the group. The inves­tigation began after a store clerk alerted authorities when he discovered a video file of the group firing weapons and calling for "jihad."

JFK Plot, June 2007

Four men plotted to blow up a jet fuel artery that runs through residential neighborhoods at the John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York City. It is alleged that they believed this would create more destruction than September 11. Authorities stated that the attack would have caused major damage.[51]

Russell Defreitas, the leader of the group was arrested in Brooklyn. One of the men was a former airport worker, and two other individuals had links to Islamic extremists in South America and the Car­ibbean.[52] Two others, Abdul Kadir and Kareem Ibrahim, are being held in Trinidad. Kadir was an imam in Guyana, former member of parliament, and mayor of the town of Linden, Guyana. Ibrahim is a Trinidadian citizen. The fourth suspect—Abdel Nur, a Guyanese citizen—remains at large.[53]

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, March 2007

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, captured in 2003, is alleged to have been involved in a number of terrorist plots and is among the most senior of Osama bin Laden’s operatives to have been captured. He is currently held at the U.S. military detention facility at Guantanamo Bay. Mohammed admitted in March 2007 to helping to plan, organize, and run the September 11 attacks and also claimed responsibility for the first bombing at the World Trade Center and the bombings of nightclubs in Bali in 2002 and a Kenyan hotel. He has stated that he decapitated American journalist Daniel Pearl and took responsibility for helping to plan the failed attack by Richard Reid, along with plots at Heathrow Airport, Canary Wharf, and Big Ben, as well as targets in Israel and the Panama Canal. He also helped to develop plots surrounding Los Angeles, Chicago, and the Empire State Building as well as U.S. nuclear power stations. He also had plotted to assassinate Pope John Paul II and former President Bill Clinton.

November 6 2009  Fort Hood

Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, a U.S. citizen born in Virginia to Jordanian parents, was wounded by a civilian police officer responding to a shooting rampage that is believed to be the worst ever at a U.S. base, said Lt. Gen. Robert Cone, commanding general of Fort Hood.  Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan was described as a devout Muslim........hmmmm nearly all of the people had ties to, or were actively involved in the Islamic faith...is that by accident????.....but that's profiling...and profiling is wrong...lol......But I am sure by the time it is all done with...the left will blame Bush Beck and Rush....riff

(Newser) – Mexican drug gangs have been rapidly expanding their marijuana-growing operations in the US in recent years, especially on Indian reservations. The gangs take advantage of underfunded tribal police departments, large tracts of unused land, and overlapping jurisdictions to set up grows on reservations from California to South Dakota, authorities say. The Mexicans easily blend in with transient populations on the reservations, according to cops.

The traffickers also use the reservations for gun trafficking and smuggling of narcotics brought in from Mexico and Canada. Overstretched tribal police say they expect the gangs to continue appearing during every growing season. "If we ever catch them, we'll run them off the reservation," the police chief at one Oregon reservation tells the Wall Street Journal.

I say put a bounty on the f-ing illegal swine...10 bucks per set of ears....make then too scared to come across

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Particularly if it is Christ/Christianity)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

If a Conservative has the chance, he will vote to protect unborn children and the innocent.                                                                                    A liberal will defend a terrorist or criminal and gladly suck an unborn child from the womb.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".

Have a nice day you liberals....despite yourselves....riff

mom.."he has fever"...did you give him anything for the fever?....Yes...what and when......motrin three days ago, it worked for a while then quit....

mom, well since my kid is here, I have a cough too...

and when did your child get sick?...four days ago, but after trick or treating today we decided to swing by the ER

"patient"....I need a pregnancy test...do you think you might be pregnant?...yes i havent had my period this month...ok...any medical history, operations ect ect.  ....yes.......well?????.....no gall bladder , no appendix, hysterectomy, and ovaries removed.....when was this?...six years ago..(do what?  )..... when was the last time you had your period?.....six years ago after the hysterectomy...and you want a pregnancy test because you haven't had your period???....yes....OK, we will tell the Doc.......(out of earshot of patient)...psych consult for a 67 year old male in triage

"I need to be seen"...ok what is the emergency?...I bumped my head, now I have a headache......when did this happen?.....ten years ago.......*sigh* (sadly shakes head)...OK we will tell the doctor

"I need to see a doctor"...yes maam what is wrong...I started my medicine for strep throat this afternoon at 430pm, and I'm still feeling sick..(time was 630pm)...*doctor sees patient, writes discharge instructions*...."keep taking the medicine as directed, two hours is a bit early to tell if it's working"...(patient, immediately sighs in relief)...Thank you doctor...and leaves

any medical history?...Yes, I'm a submissive and a furry...furry?...yes I like to dress up as an animal and ...well you know...*and she winks at me through her missing teeth, and smiles*....OK....the doc will see you shortly...*runs out of room, hides in a corner in a fetal position and drools, screaming "My eyes my eyes..oh the horror"*..(not really but I thought about it)...lol

This was in addition to the coke heads with chest pain and a heart rate of 160, the meth addicts with complaints of bad teeth, and the mothers dragging their whole family of six or seven kids all under 12 ...during a nasty thunderstorm with reports of flash flooding...I need all of them seen ..they have runny noses..........but all in all I do love my job...rofl...can't wait for that ole health care to *ahem*..fix things..(laughs and slaps sides).....riff

Things you don't want to do in the nude.

16. Paint ball warfare

15. forget the mosquito repellant

14. Use a weed eater.

13. Dodge ball

12. Learn to fly fish

11. Bee keeping

10. Fry bacon

 
 9. Arc weld

 
 8. Bathe a cat

 7. Operate a snow blower

 6. Clear a patch of poison ivy

 5. Insulate the attic with fiberglass

 
 4. Operate a lathe

 3. Present a children's television show

 
 2. Take Mass with the Pope

And the Number 1 thing not to do in the nude:
 1. Pick up a dime from a San Francisco sidewalk .......lol...riff